This Black Girl Rocks! Adele Taylor, ACT-SO New Jersey


ACT-SO, a program by the NAACP is a student enrichment program that culminates in a local and national competition where students compete for awards, and prizes totaling over $50,000.

Each week throughout the school year, students from various high schools throughout New Jersey meet with advisors at a central location where they are mentored in 26 of the ACT-SO academic disciplines which includes sciences, humanities, performing arts, visual arts and business.

The ACT-SO program centers around the dedication and commitment of community volunteers and business leaders; to serve as mentors and coaches to promote academic and artistic excellence among students of African-American descent.

Taboo Tuesday: How Women Get What They Want From Men


Yo TFG, you may not like this one either so save your time and comments ok.

For everyone else, a lady friend posted this on her Facebook wall and I thought it was interesting. I’d really like to get the thoughts of men and women about what the author states are 10 ways  a woman can get something from a man.

How To, Love & Marriage: How to Get What You Want From Any Man

November 4th, 2010 – By Erica Renee, Madame Noire

Men are simple creatures. In fact, men are so simple that it often becomes complex if you try too hard to “figure them out.” It becomes even more difficult, when you’re hoping for a certain outcome in what you want from your man. When attempting to get something from him, whether it’s more assistance around the house, taking you out more, or buying you the new bag you’ve been eyeing, you have to remember to be..well simple.

Don’t attempt a long drawn out, strategically planned conversation. Chances are he will only hear the beginning and tune the rest out. Just be open, honest, and add a little TLC. It’s really that simple.

Do you want to know how to get your man to do what you want? Try these few tips and hear what a few men have to say about what wins them over. Take notes, Mesdames.

1. Don’t tell him, ask him. If you don’t want to hear the words “who do you think you’re talking to,” telling your man what he needs to do is probably not the option. No one likes to be told what to do. This statement definitely holds true to the male species. If you want something from him, don’t attempt to give him orders. 99.9% of the time it won’t go over too well.

2. Choose the right time to ask. So while he’s watching football, it may not be the best time to tell him what you’ve been thinking about your relationship and what he needs to do to make it better. Mention what you’re trying to obtain while giving him something you know he wants or likes.

Mesdames, words of advice, if you’re attempting to get something from your man, make sure you’re giving something to him. For some men this ‘want’ is pretty simple and can be summed up in three words: S-E-X. Don’t believe me?

“My girl can get almost anything from me if she’s giving me what I need. She knows me and for real, most men give in to sex…some good sex”- Shaun Gholson, 34

3. Let him know he’s the best source for getting what you want. Don’t act as if he’s the last resort but the first and best choice.  Men love to feel needed. Stroke his ego, without being too needy.

4. Show him that you’re willing to do the same for him. This rule applies to all relationships, not just for those of the opposite sex.  Don’t ask anyone to do what you’re not willing to do. If you’re asking your man to do something for you that you love, make sure you’re willing to do the same for him. No one likes a taker. Give a little.

“If a woman shows me that she is willing to do just as much for him as he is willing to do for her, she can really get anything, within reason”- Torre Malik, 28

5. Cook his favorite meal. Now, this tip applies only if you can cook. The goal is to turn him on to what you have to say, not off.  And for you anti-Betty Crockers, order his favorite meal or taking him out may suffice but doesn’t have the same effect as a specially prepared, home-cooked meal.

6. Avoid nagging & over-mentioning. You’ve told him thirty times, in the last thirty minutes, how much you need him to take you out more. He got the point the third time, but you still continue to mention it. At this point, he may succumb to your wishes but not because he wants to, but because he feels pressured to do so. In return his attitude reflects the pressure. So you’ve gotten what you wanted from him, but can’t even enjoy it. Your initial ‘want’ now seems pointless.

7. Act as if you expect it, but not in a snobby type of way. For all of the beautiful self-proclaimed queens and princesses, yes I know, we deserve the world. But no one needs to hear it over and over again. It’s okay to expect the best, but appreciate your man’s efforts.

8. Show appreciation. Not only should you appreciate your man’s efforts. Make him feel good about giving you what you want. Appreciation and gratitude can take you a long way. Do something nice to show your gratitude.

“If you show some appreciation and don’t show any ‘gold-digger’ characteristics or selfishness, you can have the world,” – Mark Kee, 26

9. Set an example from the beginning. You can’t allow a man to walk all over you at the beginning of your relationship and then suddenly expect him to switch to niceness. You show people how to treat you. If you’re not a doormat and he does something to make you feel like you are, then state–from the very beginning that you expect to be treated more kindly than he may have shown in that instance. You have to be strong enough to select a man who is good for you–from the beginning…and eject a man who is bad for you–from the beginning.

10. Smile. When you want something, don’t ask for it with a frown on your face. It’s much more difficult to turn down a sweet, smiling angel than to turn down a scowling, angry, lady!

To The One Who Got Away


Brothers,

Be sure to let YOUR woman know how you feel all the time. Yes, all the time. Can I share something deeply personal? I’ve been wrestling over whether I should share these thoughts on The Drum, but we’re family right? Let me tell you about the one who got away.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone in which everything clicked? It was crazy with me and this woman. She was sexy in and out of her clothes. She had mental prowess that kept a brother sharp and on point whether we talked about politics, fashion, religion, relationships or community. This sister was all that.

You know where I met her? At the mall of all places. She was with two of her girls and I was posted up with my ace shopping for an athletic cut suit. I never saw her before, but something told me to approach her and say hello. Maybe she hypnotized me with those brown eyes which looked like two, soft Hershey Kisses. Nah, it was those quintessential African, Goddess-like lips perfectly positioned by The Creator on her face surrounding those pearl white teeth He blessed her with.

She is the one who got away.

It took time for both of us to get to know the inner person. Each conversation we engaged in was like unwrapping the best Christmas gift you ever received. She blessed me and what we built was something special. We vacationed together, we loved spending time with each others family on holidays and our friends became friends. Yeah, she was something between fantastic and brilliant.

When relationships fall apart it is a cumulative thing or series of things leading to its demise. That wasn’t our story.

(I’m starting to feel like a punk the more I write this.)

What happened to the one who got away? It’s very hard and painful to say because we never did say goodbye to each other. We were too proud. We were too stubborn. We were too hurt.

As much as we were in love, we were just as selfish and egomaniacal. It happened as quickly as our relationship began. She called me and said ‘baby’, we have to talk. Can I come over?

After that conversation our relationship never survived. We never said to each other that our love was done. We just stopped calling and spending time together. Days passed, months and now a year. She moved away and we are both waiting for the other to call first. I think about her.

She’s the one who got away.