Brothers,

Be sure to let YOUR woman know how you feel all the time. Yes, all the time. Can I share something deeply personal? I’ve been wrestling over whether I should share these thoughts on The Drum, but we’re family right? Let me tell you about the one who got away.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone in which everything clicked? It was crazy with me and this woman. She was sexy in and out of her clothes. She had mental prowess that kept a brother sharp and on point whether we talked about politics, fashion, religion, relationships or community. This sister was all that.

You know where I met her? At the mall of all places. She was with two of her girls and I was posted up with my ace shopping for an athletic cut suit. I never saw her before, but something told me to approach her and say hello. Maybe she hypnotized me with those brown eyes which looked like two, soft Hershey Kisses. Nah, it was those quintessential African, Goddess-like lips perfectly positioned by The Creator on her face surrounding those pearl white teeth He blessed her with.

She is the one who got away.

It took time for both of us to get to know the inner person. Each conversation we engaged in was like unwrapping the best Christmas gift you ever received. She blessed me and what we built was something special. We vacationed together, we loved spending time with each others family on holidays and our friends became friends. Yeah, she was something between fantastic and brilliant.

When relationships fall apart it is a cumulative thing or series of things leading to its demise. That wasn’t our story.

(I’m starting to feel like a punk the more I write this.)

What happened to the one who got away? It’s very hard and painful to say because we never did say goodbye to each other. We were too proud. We were too stubborn. We were too hurt.

As much as we were in love, we were just as selfish and egomaniacal. It happened as quickly as our relationship began. She called me and said ‘baby’, we have to talk. Can I come over?

After that conversation our relationship never survived. We never said to each other that our love was done. We just stopped calling and spending time together. Days passed, months and now a year. She moved away and we are both waiting for the other to call first. I think about her.

She’s the one who got away.

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